The Cackling of the Crows by Neal Sellers

Author:Neal Sellers [Sellers, Neal]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Neal Sellers
Published: 2022-03-10T04:30:11+00:00

6

BATTLE OF THE SEXES

Shrimp Cocktail, Crab Legs, & Sushi Style

K.P. was supposed to round out the month of sexual connotations this Saturday. Yep, another session of “Off the Hook,” already. My, how time flies. :-/

I woke up on the Parker couch, thinking about that. No way K.P. was gonna do it. It has been a rough week. Of course, K.P. is not your typical person. Ah, thought I was gonna say “woman,” huh? Mrs. Parker was making breakfast, and I knew what that meant. I waited for the call. Jinx was in the kitchen with her mother, and K.P. was coming down the stairs.

I fired the first missile of the day.

“Just like a bear, the smell of food will interrupt any hibernation!”

“Actually, it was the smell of your feet that broke it for me!”

“Oww … you trying to take me out with one shot, huh?”

“Why ain’t your ass in the kitchen? … You know the routine! … Maaaaaaa, Que’s up!”

“Shut up, Ho’ … I was gonna get up.”

Jinx, hearing K.P.’s voice, enters the room.

“Yo, dude, it’s all there … Get ta steppin’ … C’mon, hut, two, three, four!”

“Can I put on my clothes?”

“Here’s some shorts.”

K.P. threw them at me.

“Oh, y’all got it all figured out, right?”

I got up to put on the shorts. No shame in my game … I mean, it’s K.P. and Jinx.

“Nice Pooh boxers, Que,” Jinx smirked.

“They’re even nicer inside.”

Mrs. Parker walked in and I had one leg in the shorts and one leg out. I tried to put the other leg in real quick and pull up the shorts but I lost my balance. Laughter … and more laughter.

“Ha ha ha … oh—it’s—soooo—funny! … Yuk yuk … ha ha.”

When K.P. and Jinx … and Mrs. Parker had finally finished laughing at my misfortune, I informed them that my feelings were hurt. And I was especially hurt by Mrs. Parker’s laughter, because I expected it from Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Fortunately for me, I was able to fall back onto the couch, instead of the floor.

“Oh Gregory,” Mrs. Parker coddled. “I’m so sorry.” She kissed me on my cheek.

Hey, I know a good thing when I feel it, so I milked it.

“Another one …”

I pouted and pointed to the other cheek, and she obliged.

“Another one …”

I pointed to my forehead, and she laughed and obliged again. I puckered up …

“Oh hell no!” the girls yelled and jumped on me.

“Can I move in?” I sighed.

The laughter started up again.

After the laughter, the Parker women got down to business.

“Gregory, the kitchen is all yours,” Mrs. Parker said.

“Let’s go, man … I’m hungry,” K.P. ordered.

“Que, I want three,” Jinx barked.

I looked at them with arms crossed bewilderment.

“Y’all got some nerve … laughing at me. Pshh, y’all gonna have to come better than that!”

K.P. walked toward me and grabbed my hand.

“Oh, Que, I am famished. Would you please go into the kitchen and do what only you can do?”

“Que, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, I would like three?” Jinx humbly asked.

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